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| I come running!! What's an auntie to do anyway?
Luke talked with me on the phone over a week ago now, and he asked me, "M play trains with me?" I said no i couldn't play trains with him. I was in the car headed to Lansing at the time! So then, determined as ever, he asked, "M play cars with me?" It made me want to turn my car around and head over to Deb and Jay's to play trains AND cars with Luke.
'M' as I am known to Luke, dug mountains with him tonight in the sandbox and played trains with him. At one point poor Gordon fell off the tracks! I said, "but Gordon is such a strong big engine!" And Luke replied, "he falls off sometimes." :) We all cracked up. Jason said that right now Thomas has to pull 3 flat cars, and only Luke can play with Thomas, so I must be someone special if while I was pulling James around the track and Luke was pulling Thomas, that Luke said to me, "M you play with Thomas and I play with James." That was only for a little while until Luke switched back of course. He can't tolerate too much change all at once. If it happens once one day then you better like it that way because he will insist on it the next time!
Luke reminds me of the simple things in life, and how life can be just doing things you love with the people you love. Isn't that the life of a 2 year old? Okay, and a few other not so fun things like having your Auntie M wash your hair in the bathtub and you scream. But I wish in many ways that I could hold onto those simple things more often in my life as a 32 year old!
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| We grew up reading this storybook called Junk Day on Juniper Street. Neighbors decided to gather their junk together, call a junk trunk to come pick it up and be done with it. Well, as the story goes, once everyone started putting their junk on the curbs, other people's trash became some people's treasure. :) Until there was only a big rocking chair left. The junk man came, looked at the rocker, sat down and sighed contentedly.
I took a walk through Woodbridge tonight, and there are piles of junk at the curb everywhere you look - the city is having a heavy trash pick up soon, and we are all taking advantage of it. There's a little bit of Juniper street going on though...across the street I saw a truck backed up next to a pile of junk and there were some guys sorting through it. And I was tempted to check out the cool looking door someone was tossing out down Commonwealth. "you never know what kind of use you might find for it..."
I came back empty-handed, but not without a tale to tell. When I was coming down Avery, who did I cross paths with but Ken Cockrel, Jr., himself and his dog! KC wound up the leash so that the dog couldn't reach me (which I was really thankful for...there are a lot of dogs in our neighborhood that scare me regularly!). When he passed by me, all I could think to say was, "Thanks for your service. I follow what you're doing, and just want to say thanks."
If there is one citizen of Detroit that I have admired lately it is KC. Who had to step in and pick up the mayor's job when Kwame was ousted? KC. Who had to deal with Monica? KC. Who still has to deal with her once more as the city council prez? KC. Who has a family at home and still takes time to walk his dog around the neighborhood?
So I guess I hope that he knew what I was trying to thank him for all of that. I think he's done well. Now he knows.
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| I just needed to also add a little word about my new profile picture...it's of me after I was baptized in the Jordan River this past October! I visited Israel with my home church, Christian Celebration Center in Midland. It was an amazing experience! Crazy that I got to go in the first place, but I am so grateful to have had the opportunity. I LOVED it.
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| Lately, I have been more and more aware of how much I have to fight to stay warm during the day and night around here. Yes, it's like 0 degrees outside and granted, that means it IS harder to stay warm, I know. But I am usually not someone who is cold, so this is a new thing for me to experience! I feel like wearing my hat to sleep tonight so that I can reserve more body heat. I was shivering and my teeth were chattering last night for several I already have four blankets on my bed (no, not an electric blanket yet...though I am really close to buying one!). And I wear at least 3 layers around the house during the day. My fingers and nose are almost always cold. I think I just don't move very much when I am at home working so I just get cold. The soap dispenser in the bathroom squeaks because it's cold! And my toothpaste is harder to squeeze b/c it's cold. I have to keep the water pitcher out on the counter because I can't bear drinking refrigerated water in the winter - it's too cold.
And while you're questioning this, yes, we have a furnace and we do turn it on. :) But we gotta keep it lower or it gets too pricey...
The fighting response I have to stay warm is very much like the fighting response I have to life in general right now...fighting to keep my bearings ("why am I doing this again?") fighting to keep my joy ("what is there to be happy about in life right now?") and fighting to stop all the mental fighting that threatens to keep me awake all night! I have to fight to hear anything aside from my flesh crying out for what it wants. That battle is wearing me out. I am tired of fighting. I feel alone, and am just so tired of it all. All the old arguments of my life are rushing into my mind and seeking to grab a hold of me again, and it is just a fight to keep them out and let the peace of Christ rule!
The neverending question of what I really want out of life sits as the backdrop to this fight, and sitting as the backdrop to THAT is what is God wanting from me/ for me? I find myself praying for discernment because I feel deaf to what He is saying to me.
Let me be like Samuel, Lord. Speak Lord, your servant is listening!!
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| Last night, I stepped into the stall of the women's bathroom in the basement of quad commons, and the door swung shut. Well, at least I expected it to swing shut - it actually kept swinging right through the frame and hit me in the leg. Some things never change. I have visited this same bathroom many times over the last decade and a half. It smells the same and looks the same every time I go in. Slightly musty smell, with clean overtones (probably because it is cleaned more often than anyone actually uses it...it is that dilapidated!). It has the old tile flooring, old white sink, and stall dividers with the paint half chipped off. I do remember they put in a new paper towel dispenser several years back - that was a shocker. And I kind of remember them putting in new door latches that worked a little better than the original around the same time. Now of course, the "new" latches are not working anymore...hence the bruise on my leg.
I just remembered the first time I would have stepped foot in this bathroom! It is not a gross story...just funny and very memorable! We were driving down to pick up Becky during one of her first two years at UDM. I was following Mom I think, in a separate car, but cannot remember why. Maybe we were dropping off a car for Becky? Anyway, I drove the van by myself. I was drinking from a water bottle the whole 2 hour drive, and blowing my nose a lot because I had a cold. I remember exiting the freeway and thinking that I really needed a bathroom! We still had 3 miles to go, though, and the last 2 miles were down a very bumpy, pot-holey Livernois Ave. I remember thinking it was the longest, bumpiest road ever. And I remember telling myself over and over that I could make it to the bathroom - just keep driving!
We finally got to UDM, parked, and I ran straight up the Lazy Lot towards Quad Commons for the bathroom. I made it - and never was so glad to find a bathroom, as dilapidated as it was...and still is. :)
Some things never change.
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